Understanding People

Someone was so rude just now, with no apparent reason, I’m going to be rude back ! No, wait, maybe has nothing to do with you… was it a misunderstanding? did i touch a nerve?

These are some notes of my learning on understanding people.

Introverts vs Extroverts

People tend naturally to be either one. There is different levels of mix of these for each person, and also extreme cases of extroverts and introverts.

Introverts (when compared to extroverts)

By definition is directing interests and behavior towards oneself. And less to the exterior. Need quiet, alone, time. Tend to think more before speaking.

Extroverts (when compared to introverts)

By definition is directing interests and behavior towards others and external environment Need people around. Better at faster and confident decisions on a deadline without complete information.

Professional

Selling, Marketing, is definitely a world where extroversion is key advantage.

Cultures are different

US is known to be a center of extroverts Finland is known to be a center of introverts HBS seems to be a school of extroverts (that incentives / teaches extroversion)

Danger of extroverts

Extroverts, naturally, will get their way more often (when compared to introverts). Extroverts speak up first and more loudly in meetings.

Starting with the premise that extroverts and introverts have the same likelihood of being right (or wrong).

This means that more often bad ideas / solutions will win and prevail because they were argued by extroverts.

Reference - Book “Quiet: the Power of the Introverts”

Categorizing people in 4 areas

Take this with a grain of salt, is a strong simplification / model. Models are always wrong to a certain degree, but can be useful if applied to right situation.

Every person has always a bit of each category, but some people will be more heavy on a particular one, or even in 2.

reference

Body Language

There are common traits that our body does naturally when happy, sad, scared, etc… But everybody might be by default slightly different, so is very important first to understand the normal baseline. And then look for changes to that baseline, those will be the tell signs.

Eyes

Arms

Lips

Massaging head is used to calm down, is often a signal of discomfort (to calm down from discomfort).


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